Mother’s Day conjures images of flowers and fancy brunches, but what might be joyful for some may be deeply triggering for others. Some folks have lost parents or children, some are struggling with fertility issues, loss, or miscarriage, while others may have a painful or estranged relationship with their mothers.

Knowing what to say to a friend who is coping with loss and grief can feel hard (and sometimes awkward). Experts recommend putting aside the platitudes and keeping it real. It can be a breath of fresh air for someone experiencing heartache to engage in authentic conversation — real talk can be really powerful.

If you have a friend who’s struggling with Mother’s Day and want to offer support, here are a few gentle ways to help.

Suggest a social media hiatus
Encourage your friend to hit pause on their social channels on the days leading up to and after Mother’s Day. It can be triggering to see all the loving photos and posts for someone struggling with the holiday. Muting social media for a few days will help them avoid a potentially upsetting barrage of Mother’s Day messages.

Honor their grief
If your friend is grieving on Mother’s Day, ask if there is a way you can help honor their loved one together. It could be something as simple as lighting a candle for them or doing something that they love like taking a walk on the beach.

Be present
Ask your friend “how are you today?” By adding ‘today’ you give the signal that you want to listen to how they’re actually doing and that it’s safe to open up. Show up for your friend by letting them know that you’re there. Be that friend who keeps checking in.

Listen
When we struggle with difficult emotions, having someone listen and be a sounding board can really help. Reach out and ask your friend how they feel. Give them the grace and space to share their frustrations and grief. The opportunity to disclose feelings and feel heard can make all the difference.

Let your friend know you’re thinking of them
Give your friend a simple note or card acknowledging how tough the holiday may be — it’s a simple gesture that’s meaningful.

Make plans
Ask your friend how they want to mark the day and take their lead. If they’re open to it, help your friend stay active and distracted. Join them in an activity that they love and keep the focus on being present in the moment.

Be a support, not a fix
The feelings and emotions your friend is working through don’t have an expiration date. Strive to support your friend in how they choose to spend this Mother’s Day rather than “fix” how they are feeling.

About the author. 

An award-winning creator and digital health, wellness, and lifestyle content strategist—Karina writes, produces, and edits compelling content across multiple platforms—including articles, video, interactive tools, and documentary film. Her work has been featured on MSN Lifestyle, Apartment Therapy, Goop, Psycom, Yahoo News, Pregnancy & Newborn, Eat This Not That, thirdAGE, and Remedy Health Media digital properties and has spanned insight pieces on psychedelic toad medicine to forecasting the future of work to why sustainability needs to become more sustainable. 

 

There’s something about kicking off 2022 that has felt a bit different. It may be the fact that vaccines have largely made the bleak winter months more bearable than last year. It could be that we now live in a post-Montero world. But one big thing that I have noticed so far this year is that people seem to be forgoing the tradition of a New Year’s resolution. For a few, resolutions have always felt a bit arbitrary, but for a lot of my own friends, a New Year’s resolution feels weird after all we’ve been through.

With all the hardships of the last two years, we’ve been forced to deal with a lot of failure. Setting any goal comes with a risk of failure, so maybe it makes sense that we avoid the whole situation and go resolution-less this year. But unfortunately, when it comes to life and work, avoiding failure altogether just isn’t realistic. So, it’s important to reexamine our relationship with failure and demystify it, so that we can ultimately improve how we deal with failure and even set goals in the first place.

Our fear of failure

Failure is often seen as the worst possible outcome in any given scenario. It’s total defeat, game over, the end of the road. And when it comes to work, whether a freelance project or a full-time job, the stakes seem that much higher. There often seems to be little room for failure when you answer to others and your work reputation is on the line. This pressure is often even more intense for women, people of color, LGBTQIA people, disabled people, and other marginalized communities, who often face an inherent expectation to go above and beyond to justify their presence in a workplace.

This relationship to failure is unhealthy and unrealistic. We all know that failure is an essential part of improving and growth. It is quite literally impossible to go through life without failure, and often understanding yourself as a person comes down to how you deal with mistakes in your life. Yes, failure can be really serious, but even that is an opportunity to right a wrong or and/or get resourceful.

In fact, this fear of failure in work often leads to dysfunctional work habits: not communicating smaller setbacks or mistakes for fear of getting in trouble, not asking questions for fear of seeming incompetent, creating timelines that do not allow time for pivoting or changes, and even being unable to accept constructive criticism without taking it personally. Procrastination and its counterpart perfectionism are both rooted in an immobilizing fear of failure.

But what if, instead of fearing failure, we were able to plan for it in our work processes?

What does failure look like?

Spend some time envisioning what failure actually looks like for a given project. When delineating your objectives, it also helps to reflect on what it might actually look like to not reach those objectives: missing deadlines, not including key people, not having the right dimensions, etc. Visualize what failure looks like (but don’t dwell on it!) and even write down the obstacles you imagine, so if your project starts to go down that path, you can recognize it earlier and intervene.

Be realistic

Failure is rooted in a difference in expectations. If you are assigned a project that is beyond your capacity, it’s crucial to know that and communicate that. We often think that being a good employee or freelancer means doing whatever a project takes, but it actually it is more about knowing what you can take. When everyone meets each other where they’re at, they can better preempt setbacks, but it also allows folks to deploy support where it’s needed in case of a setback. Also, if you are realistic about what you can and can’t do, it makes pushing yourself forward and exceeding expectations a smoother process.

Make room for feedback

Of course, clearly communicating expectations doesn’t inoculate a project from failure. Expectations can change, as do circumstances. Incorporating time throughout a project to review and allow for feedback enables you to understand what’s working and what isn’t working. It also allows you time to learn from mistakes, pivot accordingly, and overcome setbacks.

Budget for failure

No matter the size of your budget, it seems like a waste to set aside resources in case of failure. But ensuring you have a budget that adequately addresses revisions, change of scope, and other potential setbacks will help alleviate stress and headaches in the worst-case scenarios.

We all know that failure is a part of life, but for some reason that concept is rejected when it comes to work. It’s unrealistic, unsustainable, and unfair to think that we can get everything perfect all the time because failure, the insight it provides, the experimentation it demands, and the innovation it can lead to, is actually one of the most valuable tools we have.

So whether you’re creating a project timeline for a new client or mulling over a New Year’s resolution, remember that failure is how we grow.

 

About the author. 
Sam Mani writes about work, creativity, wellness, and equity — when she’s not cooking, binging television, or annoying her cat. 

Your voice — do you ever think about it? A fair guess is “no.” After all, you uttered your first words at an early age and the rest is history. Not so fast. Don’t dismiss the impressions your voice makes and the power you can derive from capitalizing on it as a prized possession.

In the classic movie Singin’ in the Rain, Lina Lamont is a celebrated star of silent movies. But that era was coming to a close toward the end of the 1920’s. “Talkies,” as early films were called, introduced sound. Gone were the title cards with text and in were actors’ voices. When the cameras started rolling on The Dueling Cavalier and Lina Lamont recited her lines, she had an excruciatingly harsh, grating tone. This was not going to work. In fact, in a scene, when a group watching daily rushes of the new film hears Lina, they laugh hysterically.

Granted, the movie exaggerates the situation. But, the basic premise raises a question of interest — is your voice an asset to your business career?

Your Audible Business Card

“Voices are important things for humans,” says the National Center for Biotechnology Information (NCBI), a branch of the National Institutes of Health. Why? “They are the medium through which we do a lot of communicating with the outside world: our ideas, of course, and also our emotions and our personality. The voice is the very emblem of the speaker, indelibly wove into the fabric of speech.”

Your voice is the channel that holds the key to your authority…or not.

A post on “Credibility — Why Your Voice Matters” starts with a quote from the poet Maya Angelou: “Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with deeper meaning.” The post then elaborates upon this notion. “Ensuring your vocal quality matches your presence is key to establishing your credibility. A disconnect between the two can be perceived as inauthentic and false.”

The Litmus Test

Let’s define terms. Voice is “the sound produced in a person’s larynx and uttered through the mouth, as speech or song.” The quality of a person’s voice is a factor in the business world. What exactly does “voice quality” mean? “It is the characteristic auditory coloring of an individual’s voice…, derived from a variety of …features and running continuously through the individual’s speech. The distinctive tone of speech sounds produced by a particular person yields a particular voice.”

Do you think you know the tone and quality of your voice? Think again. Here’s why. When you speak, “you’re hearing a distorted version of your voice all the time.” In other words, what you hear is not what others get. Since that’s the case, how can you ascertain what others hear when you speak? The voice actor quoted here offers an easy solution. He demonstrates it on TikTok in a clip that has attracted 3.2 million views and counting.

Open your hands and hold them flat in front of you facing one another. Then place each one on the sides of your head from your ears down to your jawbone. Then speak. Listen carefully because “this is what you sound like to other people,” he notes.

There’s another way is to discover your real voice. Record it. Then play it back. Who’s that speaking? You may not even recognize the voice as your own.

Optimizing Your Voice

How about putting in a little work on your own to make the best of what you have? It’s the path to a big payoff. Gilda Carle, Ph.D., AKA Dr. Gilda, shows you the way. “As the adage goes” she says, “it is not so much what you say but how you say it. Each one of us has a unique vocal quality that we can project to define our power.” Her latest book, Amplify Your Media Presence, Amplify Your Brand, addresses this issue.

In the chapter on “Your Voice of Choice,” she notes how voice contributes to our self-identity and to how others perceive us. “The vocal impact we make on others consists of the rate at which we speak, our pitch, our rhythm, our volume, and our use of pauses. Our vocal tones account for 38% of the impression we make when we are face-to-face with a listener, and 78% of our impact when we are on the telephone or any audio device.”

What’s the key to improving how our voice comes across? Three words: proper breath control.

Deep breathing does wonders for our voice. Singers and athletes use this technique. Example: the R&B/hip hop singer Usher used to work out hard on a treadmill before tackling a difficult tune. Makes sense. It increases the intake of oxygen and leads to strengthened breath control. Dr. Gilda says, “The deeper we breathe in, the more force, or louder, we can project our voice.”

How do we achieve this?

Practice Speaking Wearing a Surgical Mask

Go into your pandemic-related stash and put on a mask. Now speak through it; recite a passage of some kind. Talking through a mask improves the vocal sounds you make; it forces you to dig deeper and articulate using more than your lower throat. “Mask voice production opens your voice, improves its range, gives it warmth and richness, fills it with expression, and projects your vocal power,” explains Dr. Gilda.

Breathe from Your Diaphragm

Most of us breathe through our chest rather than from our diaphragm. Changing this pattern to breathe via our midsection turbocharges our voice. Diaphragm breathing supplies a larger volume of air; it not only projects our voice but also imparts a pleasing tone. It takes effort to develop this capacity and seems unnatural at first. Here’s how:

Place one hand on your chest and the other on your diaphragm.

Breathe in at a ratio of 7 to 1.

Inhale through your nose for 7 counts; hold your breath for 1 count.

Then exhale through your mouth for 7 counts, moving your diaphragm not chest.

Repeat, repeat, repeat.

Check you’re doing this correctly. Place your hands on your abdomen with your fingers pointing together; as you inhale, push out against your hands with your lower ribs and abdomen; then, as you exhale, ensure the abdomen contracts.

Now, speak when you’re breathing this way. Your stomach should move in smoothly and gradually. If your upper chest moves up and down, go back to the beginning and try again.

For an additional perspective, see “How Breathing Can Improve Your Voice.”

Find and Use Your Proper Pitch

Is your pitch high or low? Inquiring minds intent on improving their voice should not focus on this aspect but rather on “proper pitch.” Proper pitch is the one that’s just right for you. It’s your own personal formula, the point where your vocal carrying power, smooth tone, and comfort come together. These vocal exercises point the way:

Raise your arms above your head.

Close your lips and say, “Um, hum, one; um, hum two; um, hum three.” Go to 10.

Ensure your pitch of the number is at the same level as your “Um, hum”

Check that your nose and lips are humming and resonating.

Got it? Your proper pitch is the sound of the “Um, hum.” Now work it! Use that pitch to say: “Good morning,” “My name is ______.” Next, repeat these energy words: “Hello, “really,” “beautiful,” “right,” “ready,” “no,” “go,” “do.” Word of caution from Dr. Gilda: “You may feel dizzy at first after performing these exercises. This is a temporary condition caused by excessive oxygen intake. The dizziness will pass quickly.” The reward? Imbuing your voice with strength and assertiveness.

Other Tips

WikiHow

There is lots of information online on ways to maximize your voice. WikiHow is a great source for many things voice, such as “4 Ways to Improve Your Voice,” “How to Improve the Quality of Your Voice” and “How to Improve Your Speaking Voice.” Check these and others out.

Toastmasters International

This longstanding organization asks: “Do you want to practice public speaking, improve your communication and build leadership skills? With Toastmasters you can break barriers.” Look for a chapter near you and get ready to share your voice and experiences with others.

Closing Thoughts

“We use our voice to communicate who we are and what we think,” says Dr. Gilda. “But it also determines how others treat us. Simply, a weak, poorly projected voice corrupts our communication and the impression we make.”

What’s the moral of this story? Be aware of the power your voice carries; then harness its potential. Go for it!

 

About the author.
You name it, she covers it. That’s the can-do attitude Sherry M. Adler brings to the craft of writing. A polished marketing and communications professional, she has a passion for learning and the world at large. She uses it plus the power of words to inform and energize stakeholders of all kinds. And to show how all of this can make a difference, she calls her business WriteResults NY, LLC. 

2020 proved to be the biggest holiday season ever for digital spending. As the pandemic approaches its third year, the landscape is shaped by both logistical challenges and pent-up excitement about spending the holidays with loved ones.

It likely comes as no surprise that nearly half of U.S. consumers expect COVID-19 to impact how they shop this season, from visiting stores in advance to shifting more and more to the shopping digisphere. As the pandemic and increasingly frequent extreme weather events continue to wallop, the 2021 holiday shopping season may just be the most unpredictable yet.

Here are five key retail trends to watch this year.

1. Decline of Black Friday

In 2020, retailers began to roll out Black Friday deals as early as October, due to concerns over large crowds during the apex of the pandemic. And this trend continued in 2021, which has benefited employees by allowing for greater flexibility with work hours during the Thanksgiving holiday and on Black Friday itself. With foot traffic still a question mark for many as the pandemic continues undulating across different parts of the country, spreading out the concept of Black Friday makes sen$e all around.

2. Early shopping

In this supply chain-challenged world, the early bird may be the only one to get the coveted worm. With container ships clogging ports worldwide, folks looking to snatch up the hot toys, electronics, and other gifts are shopping early. While the start of the holiday shopping season has been inching forward over the past few years, this year’s holiday season was on people’s minds far earlier than perhaps ever before. In June, as many of us were getting our summer wardrobes out, 31% of American consumers had already started their holiday shopping — that’s nearly one out of every three consumers! And 44% of U.S. shoppers who plan to shop for the holidays say they will start earlier this year than last.

3. Scarcity due to supply chain challenges

Delivery delays and stock shortages may end up being the defining features of holiday season 2021. Unsurprisingly, this has worried shoppers and led more than 50% to share that they will confirm online if an item is in stock before going to a store to buy it. Consumers are navigating the vagaries of supply by using features like local inventory ads and shipping annotations. It’s critical for retailers to highlight products they have available in-store and how quickly people can expect delivery.

4. Increased support for small, local businesses

Silver linings exist in this complex retail landscape. The pandemic has shifted consumer mindsets and behaviors by making folks more conscious of whom they are buying from. Small businesses have had a challenging time during the pandemic. But campaigns to buy local, have popped up globally and resonated with consumers. Some good news: 60% of American shoppers who plan to shop for the holidays say that they will shop more at local small businesses.

5. Curbside + pickup-in-store are here to stay

Here’s an acronym that is fast becoming familiar: BOPIS. Buy online, pick up in-store. Brick-and-mortar have plugged into this growing trend of shopping online and curbside pickup, making physical stores an increasingly important factor for retailers pursuing omnichannel commerce success. Click-and-collect retail sales leaped from $36.48 billion in 2019 to $58.52 billion in 2020. Retail experts expect that number to continue its meteoric ascent during the 2021 holiday shopping season, as safety remains a concern for many consumers.

The Bottom Line

As the 2021 holiday season marches headlong into its last month, we should expect the unexpected. Shifts in COVID-19 numbers, new variants, and further fluctuations in supply chains, labor shortages, and extreme weather patterns are likely the new norm, at least for now.

But retail has proven to be a plucky and resilient industry, adjusting to myriad outside forces with aplomb. Numerous brands are opening new stores, and retail sales have been maintaining growth overall. It does not look like 2019, but holiday season 2021 is shaping up to be a successful one indeed.

About the author. 

An award-winning creator and digital health, wellness, and lifestyle content strategist—Karina writes, produces, and edits compelling content across multiple platforms—including articles, video, interactive tools, and documentary film. Her work has been featured on MSN Lifestyle, Apartment Therapy, Goop, Psycom, Yahoo News, Pregnancy & Newborn, Eat This Not That, thirdAGE, and Remedy Health Media digital properties and has spanned insight pieces on psychedelic toad medicine to forecasting the future of work to why sustainability needs to become more sustainable. 

By now, you’re most likely familiar with doomscrolling. You know, the thing where you can’t stop looking at Twitter or Instagram, swiping through all of the stories, articles, and messages of tragedy and despair. More unnerving COVID updates, more disheartening images of climate disasters, another crowdfunding link for a friend of a friend who has hit hard times. There’s so much depressing news, and all you can do is keep swiping for more.

Doomscrolling was such a phenomenon that it was named a 2020 Word of the Year by Oxford English Dictionary, but even in late 2021, it hasn’t slowed down — in fact it feels like the bad habit has only gotten worse. Well, it’s time to put the phone down and unlearn doomscrolling once and for all.

Doomscrolling as a concept blew up last year in light of the pandemic. Suddenly, with the world seemingly falling apart and nowhere else to go, we turned to our phones to try to make sense of what was happening. But at some point, we stopped making sense and just got lost in the quagmire of doom. The anxiety we feel from doomscrolling can be paralyzing, but at the same time, there is a strange validation that it brings.

According to Susan Albers, PsyD, via Cleveland Clinic:

“If you’re depressed, you often look for information that can confirm how you feel,” says Dr. Albers. “If you’re feeling negative, then reading negative news reconfirms how you feel. It’s the same mindset.”

Who doesn’t love being right (even when everything about the world feels so wrong)? Unfortunately, this loop of emotional corroboration is taking a toll on our mental health, which can lead to issues with our physical health.

When we experience stress, our body responds by going into fight-or-flight mode. It releases the stress hormones adrenaline and cortisol, which allow your body to focus, be more alert, and deal with the threat at hand. This is crucial for short-period stresses like reflexively swerving your car to avoid an accident, after which the hormone levels go back to normal. But when the stress is a prolonged response to financial issues or the state of the world, having those hormones swirling around in your body for extended periods of time isn’t good for you. In fact, according to the Mayo Clinic, it can lead to:

• Anxiety
• Depression
• Digestive problems
• Headaches
• Muscle tension and pain
• Heart disease, heart attack, high blood pressure, and stroke
• Sleep problems
• Weight gain
• Memory and concentration impairment.
• Needless to say, doomscrolling is bad for you. Like other bad habits, it can be tough to break, but with some mindfulness and dedication, you can unlearn it.

Unplug

The most obvious solution is to start at the source. Go on a walk, try some breathing practices, or do some other physical activity without your phone (or at least with your phone on airplane mode). Pay attention to your body and connect with yourself. If you’re a night doomscroller, try to get into the habit of making the last thing you do before falling asleep not screen-related, like reading a book.

Pay Attention to Your Responses

Part of the allure of doomscrolling is that there is a degree of mindlessness to it, like we’re just letting the wave of misery crash over us with little to no resistance. Well, it’s time to resist by being mindful. Again, from Cleveland Clinic:

“Be mindful of how a particular article makes you feel as you are scrolling by it,” Dr. Albers suggests. “Notice or observe the sensations in your body or your mind’s response to the news.”

When you pay attention consciously to the bad feelings such as anxiety, agitation or stress, she says, it’s more likely to motivate you to put on the brakes. “This,” she adds, “is your body’s way of saying stop.”

Try writing down the emotions as you feel them. Not only will this get you off your phone for a bit, but it can help you understand your responses as they happen to better prepare you for the next time you feel them.

Bring Yourself Back to the Present

In a way, doomscrolling is a way to avoid being present. It’s a strange form of escapism, as we’re escaping to distress, but it’s a form nonetheless! Try to ground yourself in the present, whether through meditation exercises or mindfulness apps, or simply taking a moment to remember the things you do have control over. This can help you put things into perspective and feel empowered instead of drifting off to helplessness.

Bad news isn’t going away any time soon. For the sake of our mental health, our physical health, and our overall quality of life, it’s time to take a breath, put the phone down, and take back our energy!

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About the author 

Sam Mani writes about work, creativity, wellness, and equity — when she’s not cooking, binging television, or annoying her cat 

Whether you are working on a big design project with a tight timeline or simply cooking dinner, time management is of utmost importance. (Obviously, we won’t be discussing cooking time management, but always set a timer for the pasta.) Time management makes the difference between crumbling under the pressure of tackling an extremely stressful workload and being able to spread the workload out, which in turn makes it a much less stressful situation. 

Think About Your Routines

Take a moment to reflect on what your time management currently looks like. Do you wake up at the last possible moment, sit up in bed, put the laptop on your lap, and get straight to work? Do you scroll on social media a bit too much? Do you make time to watch TV or do you watch TV while you try to get work done? 

Check your screen time metrics on your phone, look at your text history, check in with your DVR or your gaming console. Make notes of how much time you spend doing what. Understand what your schedule is, and set some goals. What time of day are you most productive? Would you like to get out of bed before you start working? Would you like to stop dillydallying in general? Would you like to do a bit more dillydallying?

The List

If you’re not a list maker, it’s time to become one. Write down all the things you need to accomplish for the day, from grocery shopping to calling your friend to finish that draft of your project to meet with your boss. Writing your tasks down takes them out of your head, where they can balloon up into stressful events that are bigger than they actually are and brings them into the real world, where they are simply things you need to accomplish. 

From there, prioritize. What is the most pressing? What is important to your work? What is important to you and your personal goals? Get acquainted with the Eisenhower matrix, a little formula that helps you figure out how to prioritize your time. The Eisenhower matrix asks you to consider the difference between what’s important and what is urgent because those two things are very different. While urgent tasks are pressing and time-sensitive matters, important tasks speak to deeper needs that are more about what you value and what you actually want to accomplish. It’s important not to get these two mixed up. 

The Eisenhower Matrix lets you divide your tasks up into four quadrants: 1) important and urgent 2) important but not urgent, 3) urgent but not important, and 4) not important and not urgent. From there you can really figure out in what order you want to accomplish the tasks at hand and budget your time accordingly. 

And when you accomplish each task, there is no sweeter satisfaction than crossing said task off your list. (My guilty pleasure is writing down things I’ve already accomplished just to cross them off, which I’m sure Eisenhower wouldn’t love, but you know, don’t get too crazy with it.)

The Calendar

It’s time to translate your goals into action. This is probably very unsurprising, but your calendar is your greatest tool when it comes to time management. Try planning out your entire day. Color coding your calendar can also help you organize priority or what sector or project each task/meeting/work time belongs to—which is especially handy if you are freelancing and juggling multiple projects. 

Obviously, you want to plot out meetings and work-related things like project milestones. Breaking down a long-term project into feasible, bite-sized milestones is crucial for accomplishing big items. So take a minute to figure out what good check-in points would be for the project—and stick to them.

Also schedule out time to work on projects and honor that time, making yourself unavailable to other projects/meetings (unless those meetings are very important, obviously). If you use an office-wide calendar system, creating personal meetings just to work can help you prioritize that work and help others schedule around your time (which can, in and of itself, cut down on unnecessary meetings). 

It’s also important to actively put your free time in your calendar, rather than letting your free time simply be the cracks between your other events. It may seem counterintuitive to make an event or a reminder to relax, but it’s about creating a more tangible way to divide your time and help you stay present

On that note, resist the urge to multitask. Plenty of research has found that trying to multitask doesn’t allow you to do multiple things efficiently—it actually only makes you do each activity worse and takes more time. When you block your time out, try your best to focus on the project at hand. If you’re easily distracted by the internet, consider using a browser extension to cut down on distractions. 

Time management is all about creating new routines and sticking to them, which can be pretty hard and very annoying at first. But it’s also your best bet against, well, yourself. The thing about time is, it’s always running out. That in and of itself can be stressful, but with the right approach to breaking your projects and responsibilities down, you can make the most of it, while still having time for yourself. The other thing about time is that life happens—no matter how much you prepare and plan ahead, sometimes things just get in the way. Time management is about finding the balance between organizing yourself and being able to go with the flow of life.

 

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About the author. 
Sam Mani writes about work, creativity, wellness, and equity — when she’s not cooking, binging television, or annoying her cat.